Grieving as a Wiccan

Lately I’ve been grieving a lot. This last month or two has been pretty hard. So today I want to talk to you about that. I’ve wanted to talk about it for a while but I wasn’t sure how to format it. So I’m just deciding to write. It may be super long or super short but I think writing this will get it off my chest. My writing style may be a bit different than it usually is, it may not be… I dunno. Regardless I hope you don’t mind.

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The Thursday before the Easter weekend I was contacted by my family, while at work, that my great grandmother wasn’t doing very well. She’s hasn’t been super healthy for a couple years now but nothing crazy. However this time was different. My mom usually tells me that it isn’t anything to worry about yet, but this time she said I might want to come home and see her. So there I was in front of my preschoolers that I teach and I just cried. I told them what was wrong and let me tell you, 4 year olds are so compassionate and loving. They loved me and snuggled me all day long. It was so beautiful. I went to see her that weekend. I live about 3 hours away from my family. My partner and little sister went in with me to see her. She had a hard time talking cause her breathing was very laboured but we had a great visit. That’s the last time I will see my great grandmother. She’s still alive though. When I went to see her she was at her home. Now she is in a hospital and has been for a couple weeks now. My mom says she isn’t the same nan we know and love and that she wouldn’t want me to see her this way. She’s in a lot of pain and is just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up and check my phone to see if I have a message telling me she’s passed. I hope she does soon so she can be at peace. She really hates hospitals. So this is when my grieving started.

Back in March one of the little girls at my preschool (we’ll call her Mabel for privacy sake) went to Florida with her family for a trip. The second day in she got very sick and started having seizures. She had to be put in the hospital. She had what they call F.I.R.E.S. I am not super knowledgeable on what it is. All I know is it’s rare, it started as a common cold, and she had seizures, also 30% of those who get it die from it. However I didn’t know that at the time. It never occurred to me that she would die. Maybe that is naive but that’s how I felt. For two months I had very few updates other than a gofundme page and occasionally something would get written on her classroom attendance sheet about it. Then I came in to work last Friday (the 10th) and was told she didn’t make it. Mabel was 4 years old. I know a dead 4 year old. I was nervous for my kids to find out. I didn’t want them to be sad or scared they were going to die. But when you’re 4 years old 2 months is a long time and a lot of them didn’t remember Mabel very well. I was lucky in that sense so instead of being sad they just had a lot of questions which was a lot easier to deal with. This last Thursday (the 16th) I went to Mabel’s funeral. I wore a pink dress (everyone was in bright pinks and purples as requested by Mabel’s family). It was one of the saddest things I have ever experienced.

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I’m telling you all of this for a couple reasons. One reason is that talking about this I hope will be a little therapeutic for me. I also wanted everyone to understand why my posting has been so inconsistent these last few weeks (also why it may continue to be inconsistent when my nan passes). But also I wanted to share how I am coping as a Wiccan (or if I’m not already doing these things they are things I want to start doing to cope).

What is helping me cope with Nan is first and foremost I know that her passing is going to bring her peace. But also I know that her soul will reincarnate and I will meet it again whether in this life or the next. I’m really trying to focus on the fact that she lived such a great and beautiful life and not on the fact that she’ll be gone.

What is helping me the most when it comes to coping about Mabel is also related to reincarnation but it is a bit different. If you’ve read my post about the signs you are an earth angel you will know that many of these people die as a child. When I think about Mabel, and the beautiful energy her soul had, I confidently feel she had the soul of an angel. Without a doubt. So despite the fact that I don’t totally understand how she died, I can understand why she died and that to me brings great peace.

However other than thinking about these things I have not done much to cope but have just not been thinking about it and it’s probably not the most healthy method of healing. Things that I want to start incorporating into my coping process that you can try too is reiki (be it self reiki or receiving reiki from someone else). I also want to pray more. As I’ve mentioned in my post about my relationship with praying , I tend to stray away from it because it reminds me of Christianity. I think grieving may be a great way for me to change that relationship with prayer because at the end of the day you can pray to whoever or whatever you want, not just the Christian god. So I’d like to reach out to Gaia and Pan more for strength and you can do the same with whoever you matron or patron is. I think meditating and grounding myself will also help me stabilize my emotions. And the last thing I want to suggest for myself and for you is divination. Do spreads to help sort through your emotions. Do spreads for how to cope. Do spreads to talk to those that have passed on if you think that will give you closure. Do a spread to see how your future will be after you’ve moved forward from this hard time.

I hope that this post gives you some ideas on how to cope with what you’re struggling with and also lets you know that even if it feels like you’re all alone and no one understands that there are people who get it (yikes that was cheesy but bear with me). Let me know down below how you use your Wiccan/Pagan faith to get you through times of grief along with any other thoughts or questions you have. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be!

 

11 Signs That You’re an Empath (giveaway)

Before I get started on today’s post I want to talk about a giveaway! So if you follow me on twitter you’ll know that to celebrate 50 subscribers I want to do a giveaway for either a 15 min reiki session or a tarot reading (3 cards or more, we can discuss it after if this is the option you choose) for all my subscribers. To enter you need to be following me here and on twitter. You also, need to leave in the comments on this blog post, either a series of mine you enjoy or a topic you want me to cover (plus your Twitter name). All entries need to be in by October 21st at 11:59 Atlantic Canada time. The draw will be random. May the odds be ever in your favour.

Now, for today’s post! So lately I have been doing a lot of research on what an empath is because I feel as though I probably am one. Empaths are people with the psychic ability to feel others emotions, energy, and pain. Today I am going to give you some signs that I’ve discovered from my research and signs I see in myself that I feel don’t get talked about.

#1 You feel overwhelmed in crowded areas and often feel unexplainable emotions.

So I experience this in anxiety. If I am in any large crowd I get very very anxious and I get very tired very quick. It makes no sense why I would feel this anxiety because there is nothing inherently scary or worrisome about crowds.

#2 You experience other’s pain.

This is one I don’t experience too much. The only thing I really experience in this area is if someone is really sick I experience a very heavy feeling in my chest. It makes it kinda hard to breath.

#3 You feel horrible and maybe even sick watching something horrible (like violence) in real life and even on tv.

So for me I can separate acting with real violence. But I will say watching stuff like wrestling on tv and stuff does make me really uncomfortable. I’ve also never understood people getting joy from watching a fight.

#4 You know when someone is lying.

So this means you are pretty good at knowing when someone is lying to you. It doesn’t mean that you know what the truth actually is however. I feel like I am pretty good at knowing a lie. I can only think of one person who is just so manipulative that I can’t figure her out.

#5 You feel the need to care for anyone in pain regardless of who they are or what they’ve done to you.

I am instinctually a very nurturing person. If anyone is hurting (emotionally or physically), even if they have done me wrong, I have to help them. Something I really struggle with is animals and children in pain. I have spent good amounts of time crying because I can’t bring home all the animals in a shelter, I have a sponsor child that I can’t afford right now and it is going to kill me inside when I cancel that sponsorship.

#6 People open up to you even if you don’t really want them to.

One thing I struggle with is people who I am not overly fond of feeling the need to open up to me and tell me their life struggles. The other day I had someone message me (who I haven’t seen since highschool and have never been a fan of) asking me about student loans and relationship advice. But, because I feel the need to help everyone, I talked to her anyway.

#7 When you experience other’s emotions you feel them even stronger than they do

This is one sign that I haven’t read about specifically but it is definitely something I experience. I am known for getting way more worked up about someone else’s problems then they themselves do. One constant example I have of this, is when my best friend tells me about the struggles she has at work with this one girl. My best friend will be a bit annoyed and I feel that emotion and it comes out of me as anger. This is just one example of this phenomenon

#8 You attract energy vampires

So at some point in your life, if you are an empath you will attract at least one energy vampire. An energy vampire is someone who wants to feed off your high vibrations. They’ll be that person that is super negative, always wants to talk about themselves and their problems. They don’t care about your problems and if you try to talk about what’s on your mind they’ll say you don’t care about them. They drain you of all the energy you have. I can think of a few people from my life so far that were definitely energy vampires.

#9 You are known for being a good listener

This kind of goes hand in hand with #8 and #6. You’re a fantastic listener and that’s why you will find people attracted to you and telling you everything. They instinctively know you’re going to be able to help them.

#10 You’re sensitive to antiques

This is one I really struggle with. I love antiques. I think they are so beautiful but, whenever I go into an antique shop, I leave feeling sad and exhausted. I find antiques tend to have a lot of old energy still attached to them. I also find that negative energy can be very overpowering compared to positive energy. This is probably why I leave sad. I try not to touch too many things when in an antique shop because I find that amplifies the emotions I feel. I now like to bring some crystals with me, in my pockets, to help keep the negativity away and keep my mood up.

#11 You’re an introvert

So if you don’t know, an introvert is someone who thrives being on their own and being with others can be very draining. I think many empaths are introverts because when you can feel others emotions being around others is very taxing. You also need to have time to yourself so you can recharge. Usually being an introvert isn’t too big of a deal but it can be very hard when you are in a situation where you can’t have the space to recharge.

Thank you for reading today’s post! Do you think I’m an empath or are you one? Let me know in the comments along with any other thoughts or questions. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter to get notifications on when I post. Until next time, Merry Meet and Blessed Be!

Tarot Series~Major Arcana Card 9: The Hermit

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When pulled upright this card is about seeking knowledge from within. You are currently contemplating your need to be alone. Don’t be afraid to take the chance to reflect as it can really clear your mind of all the everyday clutter. It may also be saying when you take action make sure it is authentic and in line with your true self. This card can also suggest that someone is going to enter your life and they will take on the role of a mentor. I feel also that when talking about love it can suggest that it may be best for you to be single right now or at least take some time for yourself so you can figure out who you are without the distractions of others.

When pulled in reverse this card is about, despite wanting to be alone you may be in a situation where being alone may be harmful to yourself and others. Although it is important to self reflect, don’t get lost inside your head for it may drive you mad. Don’t forget those around you. When talking about work this card in reverse means you are prepared to get to the bottom of something that has been troubling you for a while. The time for reflection is done and you are now ready to act.

This is a tarot spread that focuses on the hermit. I would recommend taking the hermit card out of your deck and meditate on it while thinking of yourself all alone. Then shuffle and pull the cards as you see fit.

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Card 1: This card represents you in solitude, your true self. This is your quietest and most centered self, undistracted and relaxed. Can also represent things that help you to center, or reasons why you find you are not centered.

Cards 2 and 3: These represent your path, where you have been, and which direction you are heading. Which is which? Do you want to be on this path?

Card 4: This is your inner light, your potential, what you can accomplish when you are centered, or that which obscures it, and keeps it from shining.

Thanks for reading today’s post. If you have any thoughts or questions please leave them in the comments. Also, make sure to follow me here and on Twitter to get notifications on when I post. If you like the Crystal Visions Tarot deck that I use you can find it here on amazon for purchase. Crystal Vision Tarot Cards Until next time, Merry Meet and Blessed Be.