Weekly Tarot Series: Grief Tarot Spread

Hi everyone, if you’ve read last weeks post you’ll know that I’ve been having a very hard month or two. If you follow me on twitter you will also know that my Nan passed away Wednesday afternoon. I wanted to find a way to continue my coping but also be delivering you content. Since this is Tarot Friday I thought instead of doing the next tarot card in the series I would do a tarot spread that may help you if you are going through a time of grief.

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Here is the tarot spread I chose to do. I found this super helpful and really brought me some peace.

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The cards I pulled

Card #1: Represents myself internally right now (Queen of Wands)

So this card actually surprised me. This placement is supposed to be about how I am doing internally right now. I assumed it would just tell me I’m miserable but instead it focused on how I am extremely focused, courageous, determined, and still doing my best to be positive, uplifting, and joyful.

Card #2: Represents the deceased (Five of Wands)

At first I didn’t quite understand what this card was telling me but then I realized it was saying that Nan had worked through her troubles and she did not have any more issues to worry about. It really just confirmed for me that she is at peace finally.

Card #3: Represents the relationship between you and the deceased (The Hanged Man)

Once again this is another card I had a hard time interpreting given what it was supposed to represent. Still don’t feel totally confident in my interpretation so if someone understands it a bit more feel free to let me know down below. Essentially what I gathered was that our relationship in the physical world had to be sacrificed in order to move forward. So her death was necessary (and the way it happened specifically) for me to be able to move on.

Card #4: A lesson the deceased has taught you (Justice)

This card says that Nan taught me firstly that decisions have long-term effects. But also that truth is essential in all things — one must learn the truth about others and yourself and one must speak and know the truth before judging others.

Card #5: Something that will help me move on (five of pentacles)

What I did with this card was a little different than how I normally read a card. I used the upright version of it (as I pulled it upright) to determine how I was feeling and then I used the reverse meaning to determine what will help me move on from those feelings. So the card said I was in a time of hardship. It also said I was feeling cursed and as though I had bad luck and I have actually said this out loud to my coworkers, so it really struck home. However how I will move on is that to recognize that brightness is coming into my life, that change is coming soon, and the worst is now over.

Card #6: How can I connect with the deceased going forward (Knight of Cups)

Pulling this card was really cool because the knight of cups actually acts as a messengers. And despite how cliche it sounds this card seems to be saying that I can connect with her by listening to my heart and trusting my intuition.

Card #7: A Message from the deceased (Ace of Wands)

This was a really nice message to receive from her and once again made me feel really at peace. Her message was to be creative and bold. To find and use my own voice. Also to follow my instincts and just go for it.

All in all this is a really great tarot spread that I would thoroughly recommend you use if you are struggling and going through a hard time. It has brought me a significant amount of peace. However that is all for today. Let me know if this spread was as helpful to you as it was for me down below in the comments, along with anything you think I missed, questions, or thoughts. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload to videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be!

 

Grieving as a Wiccan

Lately I’ve been grieving a lot. This last month or two has been pretty hard. So today I want to talk to you about that. I’ve wanted to talk about it for a while but I wasn’t sure how to format it. So I’m just deciding to write. It may be super long or super short but I think writing this will get it off my chest. My writing style may be a bit different than it usually is, it may not be… I dunno. Regardless I hope you don’t mind.

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The Thursday before the Easter weekend I was contacted by my family, while at work, that my great grandmother wasn’t doing very well. She’s hasn’t been super healthy for a couple years now but nothing crazy. However this time was different. My mom usually tells me that it isn’t anything to worry about yet, but this time she said I might want to come home and see her. So there I was in front of my preschoolers that I teach and I just cried. I told them what was wrong and let me tell you, 4 year olds are so compassionate and loving. They loved me and snuggled me all day long. It was so beautiful. I went to see her that weekend. I live about 3 hours away from my family. My partner and little sister went in with me to see her. She had a hard time talking cause her breathing was very laboured but we had a great visit. That’s the last time I will see my great grandmother. She’s still alive though. When I went to see her she was at her home. Now she is in a hospital and has been for a couple weeks now. My mom says she isn’t the same nan we know and love and that she wouldn’t want me to see her this way. She’s in a lot of pain and is just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up and check my phone to see if I have a message telling me she’s passed. I hope she does soon so she can be at peace. She really hates hospitals. So this is when my grieving started.

Back in March one of the little girls at my preschool (we’ll call her Mabel for privacy sake) went to Florida with her family for a trip. The second day in she got very sick and started having seizures. She had to be put in the hospital. She had what they call F.I.R.E.S. I am not super knowledgeable on what it is. All I know is it’s rare, it started as a common cold, and she had seizures, also 30% of those who get it die from it. However I didn’t know that at the time. It never occurred to me that she would die. Maybe that is naive but that’s how I felt. For two months I had very few updates other than a gofundme page and occasionally something would get written on her classroom attendance sheet about it. Then I came in to work last Friday (the 10th) and was told she didn’t make it. Mabel was 4 years old. I know a dead 4 year old. I was nervous for my kids to find out. I didn’t want them to be sad or scared they were going to die. But when you’re 4 years old 2 months is a long time and a lot of them didn’t remember Mabel very well. I was lucky in that sense so instead of being sad they just had a lot of questions which was a lot easier to deal with. This last Thursday (the 16th) I went to Mabel’s funeral. I wore a pink dress (everyone was in bright pinks and purples as requested by Mabel’s family). It was one of the saddest things I have ever experienced.

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I’m telling you all of this for a couple reasons. One reason is that talking about this I hope will be a little therapeutic for me. I also wanted everyone to understand why my posting has been so inconsistent these last few weeks (also why it may continue to be inconsistent when my nan passes). But also I wanted to share how I am coping as a Wiccan (or if I’m not already doing these things they are things I want to start doing to cope).

What is helping me cope with Nan is first and foremost I know that her passing is going to bring her peace. But also I know that her soul will reincarnate and I will meet it again whether in this life or the next. I’m really trying to focus on the fact that she lived such a great and beautiful life and not on the fact that she’ll be gone.

What is helping me the most when it comes to coping about Mabel is also related to reincarnation but it is a bit different. If you’ve read my post about the signs you are an earth angel you will know that many of these people die as a child. When I think about Mabel, and the beautiful energy her soul had, I confidently feel she had the soul of an angel. Without a doubt. So despite the fact that I don’t totally understand how she died, I can understand why she died and that to me brings great peace.

However other than thinking about these things I have not done much to cope but have just not been thinking about it and it’s probably not the most healthy method of healing. Things that I want to start incorporating into my coping process that you can try too is reiki (be it self reiki or receiving reiki from someone else). I also want to pray more. As I’ve mentioned in my post about my relationship with praying , I tend to stray away from it because it reminds me of Christianity. I think grieving may be a great way for me to change that relationship with prayer because at the end of the day you can pray to whoever or whatever you want, not just the Christian god. So I’d like to reach out to Gaia and Pan more for strength and you can do the same with whoever you matron or patron is. I think meditating and grounding myself will also help me stabilize my emotions. And the last thing I want to suggest for myself and for you is divination. Do spreads to help sort through your emotions. Do spreads for how to cope. Do spreads to talk to those that have passed on if you think that will give you closure. Do a spread to see how your future will be after you’ve moved forward from this hard time.

I hope that this post gives you some ideas on how to cope with what you’re struggling with and also lets you know that even if it feels like you’re all alone and no one understands that there are people who get it (yikes that was cheesy but bear with me). Let me know down below how you use your Wiccan/Pagan faith to get you through times of grief along with any other thoughts or questions you have. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be!

 

Mental Illness Ritual Bath

Hi everyone. Today I wanted to talk about something that affects me. I want to talk about mental illness. However I want to make some disclaimers before I start. Firstly I want to talk about what I am referring to when I say I am affected by mental illness. When it comes to physical sickness there are certain things you go to the hospital for and some things your don’t. A regular cold or a little flu are not hospital worthy. Despite that though you are still sick. When I think of how mental illness affects me I think of it as I have the cold (and occasionally flu) equivalent of mental illness. Do I need meds and a therapist for it? No. Do I still feel unwell? Yes. So I just wanted to put that out there before anyone questions me on just how severe my mental illness is or whatever. My second disclaimer is this: Nothing I say in this post is going to cure your mental illness. May it help you cope? sure. Could it potentially alleviate some symptoms or at least make them slightly more bearable? Maybe, but no promises. Everyone’s journey is different. And I just hope that maybe you can get something out of this.

When it comes to me I always (especially in the mornings) have a higher than average anxiety level, for no good reason at all. And every once in a while I’ll experience symptoms of depression. Usually I’ll be very irritable and very low energy. Last week and the week before I was experiencing this. And by the end of last week I decided enough was enough and that I was going to try and do something to get out of this funk. So I made a ritual self love/happiness bath. I would like to share it with you. I feel that this is a mix of both a spell and a ritual so I will leave this in both of those sections in our BoS.

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Ingredients:

  • Epsom salt
  • Lavender
  • Rose quartz
  • Green Kyanite
  • Green Obsidian
  • Amythest
  • Some seashells
  • Yellow Candle
  • Incense (I used one that’s for the heart chakra)

 

Steps to making the ritual bath:

  1. Sage your crystals and yourself
  2. In some sort of container (I used my big cauldron) mix together the lavender, the epsom salt, the crystals, and the shells while thinking about the intention of your bath
  3. With the bathroom lights off start running your bath and add the ingredients to the water
  4. Have your candle and incense on the bathtub ledge or nearby.
  5. Once in the tub light the candle and the incense
  6. Call upon whoever you wish and ask them to help you find the joy you’ve been lacking and to give you the strength to get through the rough time you’re experiencing. I called upon Gaia and Aphrodite.
  7. Enjoy your bath, you could meditate, do a face mask, watch your favourite show, read a book, whatever brings you joy.
  8. Thank whoever you called upon when you are done.

If you desire to have a sacred circle feel free, you can also make the water sacred by adding rosemary. I don’t always feel the need to do sacred circles especially when I am doing impromptu rituals/spells (like I was in this situation). Please feel free to share your journey with us, or any spells/rituals that you do to aid in your mental health down below, along with any other thoughts or questions you may have. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. Until next time, Blessed Be!

 

Tarot Series~Minor Arcana: King of Cups

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When pulled upright this card is about creativity, emotion, and the subconscious. When you get this card it describes someone being in charge of their emotions which means one is balanced between logic and emotion. He also shows us that there is a strong relationship between understanding and feeling. When you are faced with a challenge you may get the king of cups as reminder to act as he would; you need to gain control of your emotions before you pursue anything so you can progress properly in reality. This card could also represent an older male in your life. This man will be someone who mature and willing to take responsibility for his actions. This card also talks about being very diplomatic and being able to balance the needs of others. He reminds you that you should remain mature when you’re dealing with negative energy. 

When pulled in reverse this card is about someone who is volatile, emotionally manipulative, and moody. This card is about someone who is unable to balance the needs of others and may come across as cold to some people. His ability to understand others emotions may be used to manipulate others rather than help them. When you pull this card it is suggesting that either you or someone you know embodies the traits of the reversed king of cups. This person normally embodies the traits of the upright king of cups however and has only just lately been showing manipulative and controlling behaviours. His current actions are vengeful and vindictive. He will eventually experience some sort of punishment for his actions.

To help you balance logic and emotions here is a tarot spread! Before you start I would take out the king of cups card and meditate while thinking about the situation you want advice on. Then shuffle and pull the cards using your preferred method.

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Cards 1 & 2
The Head Says… – These two cards represent the logical and creative mind. Some may refer to this as left-brain & right-brain thinking. Whatever your school of thought about brain hemispheres might be, these cards reveal how the mind’s logic may be working for you or against you. The first two cards can also reflect what the mind visualizes or perceives about your matter that perhaps has not manifested into reality. What is going on up there?

Cards 3, 4 & 5
The Heart Says…
 – These three cards represent authenticity of emotions, sensitivity, trust and the flexibility to be open to giving and receiving. It will be revealed through the cards that fall if following your heart will be the wisest decision. Healthy emotional intelligence reciprocates well with the environment, thus following your heart should show up as a clear statement supported by other cards.

Thanks for checking out today’s post! What has the king of cups been telling you? Let me know in comments along with any other thoughts or questions you may have. Also don’t forget to follow me here and on twitter to get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be!

Tarot Series~Minor Arcana: Queen of Cups

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When pulled upright this card is about a person who is compassionate, caring, sensitive, and nurturing. It can also be referring to someone who you are, or will be, connecting to on an emotional level. When you get this card it could be a suggestion for you to find and accept help from others. When you get this card it is most often referring to a female who will be entering into your life. This card also refers to a someone who is highly intuitive. The card also asks you to trust your inner voice. You should take the time to really focus on your emotional health before you try and tackle others issues. Self love is crucial to become more compassionate. This card can also be in reference to your relationships. You may be someone else’s rock and are what keeps them going. It could also be here to say you are here to teach others with your intuition rather than your logic. This card describes someone who thinks with their heart rather than their mind. It also describes someone who is not very rational nor has much common sense. They are more intuitive, dreamy, and psychic. If the logical approach isn’t working for you the queen of cups could be your answer.

When pulled in reverse this card is about someone who is not very in-tune with their emotions. You may feel restricted in how you can express the way you feel. You are likely prone to bottling up how you feel however this is not effective. It will be very damaging and you can expect to boil over and lashout. You may also have high levels of stress that you are unsure of how to cope with. On the other hand this card can be suggesting that you are letting your mind wander too far and your imagination is getting away from you. Despite that you mean well you should take a moment and think about whether or not you can trust your emotions as you are likely letting them control you. Really think about whether the dreams you have can be turned into a reality. You should try and stabilize your emotions so you know when your emotions are getting the best of you. 

Here is a tarot spread for those of you not sure what you’re feeling inside and what emotions aren’t worth your energy. First I would take the queen of cups out of the deck and meditate on it while really focusing on your feelings. Then shuffle and pull the cards using your preferred method.

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I hope you enjoyed today’s post! What has the queen of cups been saying to you? Let me know in the comments below along with any other thoughts or questions you might have. Don’t forget I am still accepting questions for a Q&A video. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter to get notifications when I post and when I upload videos. Until next time, Blessed Be!

Tarot Series~Minor Arcana: Knight of Cups

When pulled upright this card is about yourself or someone else who is very in-tune with their emotions and intuition. Not only that but he uses this in-tuneness for his own well-being and during his romances. This person the card is referring to may also be a very attractive person physically. When you get this card it can be telling you to listen to your heart even if it’s doesn’t make sense logically. Getting this card could also be telling you that someone who holds the qualities of the knight of cups is going to be entering into your life. He is also seen as a messenger. This could be an invitation, or the arrival of something or someone that is going to benefit you emotionally. He can also represent you doing a project that is going to have a lot of emotional or creative value.

When pulled in reverse this card can be about how you let your emotions control your life more than you really should. This could manifest itself in your being too jealous, moody, or emotional. You probably have a tendency to jump to conclusions and this could end effecting you so much that you are actually unable to take action. This should be avoided at all costs. This card could also be warning you that a situation that seems really appealing may not be as great as you think it is. When your expectations are this high you are bound to walk away disappointed.

Here is a tarot spread for when you are feeling out of touch with your emotions. First I would take the knight of cups out of the deck and mediate on it thinking about your emotions. Then shuffle and pull the cards using your preferred method

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The Self-Exploration Tarot Spread

  1. Who I Am Right Now
  2. My Short Term Goals
  3. My Interests and Passions
  4. My Emotions
  5. My Inner Demons
  6. My Fears
  7. My Drive
  8. My Long Term Goals
  9. My Future Self

Thanks for checking out today’s post! What has the knight of cups been telling you lately? Let me know in the comments along with any other thoughts or questions you may have. Also make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to YouTube.

Tarot Series~Minor Arcana: Page of Cups

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When pulled upright this card is about how you need to be open to new ideas, especially ones that come to you through your own intuition. Even though these intuitive ideas may have come unexpected it it important that you embrace them. These ideas can lead you on a new journey and open many doors for you. This card really puts an emphasis on creative doings. So if your new idea is music/art related really grab on to it and don’t let go. This card also suggests that you if you are struggling with something you should try looking at it from a different angle. This card is also about being persistent as persistence is the only way to achieve all that you desire. Always make sure you follow your intuition, fulfill your calling in life, and always believe anything and everything is possible. If you are someone who struggles with showing their emotions the page of cups is telling you now is the time. Both your creative and emotional side need to be expressed regardless of how unimportant they seem to you. A big reason many people struggle showing their emotions is because their ego won’t allow it. Take this card as a sign saying that it is okay to let those walls down and start a new beginning so you can become the real you.

When pulled in reverse this card is about being in a creative block. There are projects in your life that you started due to the joy it brought you but as of late you have been doing it for other reasons; be it money, fame, obligation, what have you. This card is telling you to remember why you started this and to bring the joy back into your project. Doing this will remove your creative block that you’re dealing with. This card could also be referring to a troubled person. This person is afraid of their reality right now. This fear could be due to emotions, finances, illnesses or something else entirely. Due to this fear you may find them trying to escape their reality through the abuse of drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. This person could be you or it could be a loved one who is struggling with self-acceptance. This card can be about someone having a lack of inspiration, self-worth, and/or someone who is depressed.

Here is a tarot spread for those of you who struggle to understand their emotions. The first step of expressing them is to understand them. First I would take the page of cups out of the deck and meditate on it thinking about how you have been feeling lately. Then shuffle and pull the cards using your preferred method.

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Thank you for checking out today’s post. I hope you enjoyed. What has the page of cups been telling you lately? Let me know in the comments along with any other thoughts or questions you have. I know just creating this blog post, page of cups had a message for me and I’m grateful for it. Also, make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post here and when I upload videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be.