Grieving as a Wiccan

Lately I’ve been grieving a lot. This last month or two has been pretty hard. So today I want to talk to you about that. I’ve wanted to talk about it for a while but I wasn’t sure how to format it. So I’m just deciding to write. It may be super long or super short but I think writing this will get it off my chest. My writing style may be a bit different than it usually is, it may not be… I dunno. Regardless I hope you don’t mind.

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The Thursday before the Easter weekend I was contacted by my family, while at work, that my great grandmother wasn’t doing very well. She’s hasn’t been super healthy for a couple years now but nothing crazy. However this time was different. My mom usually tells me that it isn’t anything to worry about yet, but this time she said I might want to come home and see her. So there I was in front of my preschoolers that I teach and I just cried. I told them what was wrong and let me tell you, 4 year olds are so compassionate and loving. They loved me and snuggled me all day long. It was so beautiful. I went to see her that weekend. I live about 3 hours away from my family. My partner and little sister went in with me to see her. She had a hard time talking cause her breathing was very laboured but we had a great visit. That’s the last time I will see my great grandmother. She’s still alive though. When I went to see her she was at her home. Now she is in a hospital and has been for a couple weeks now. My mom says she isn’t the same nan we know and love and that she wouldn’t want me to see her this way. She’s in a lot of pain and is just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up and check my phone to see if I have a message telling me she’s passed. I hope she does soon so she can be at peace. She really hates hospitals. So this is when my grieving started.

Back in March one of the little girls at my preschool (we’ll call her Mabel for privacy sake) went to Florida with her family for a trip. The second day in she got very sick and started having seizures. She had to be put in the hospital. She had what they call F.I.R.E.S. I am not super knowledgeable on what it is. All I know is it’s rare, it started as a common cold, and she had seizures, also 30% of those who get it die from it. However I didn’t know that at the time. It never occurred to me that she would die. Maybe that is naive but that’s how I felt. For two months I had very few updates other than a gofundme page and occasionally something would get written on her classroom attendance sheet about it. Then I came in to work last Friday (the 10th) and was told she didn’t make it. Mabel was 4 years old. I know a dead 4 year old. I was nervous for my kids to find out. I didn’t want them to be sad or scared they were going to die. But when you’re 4 years old 2 months is a long time and a lot of them didn’t remember Mabel very well. I was lucky in that sense so instead of being sad they just had a lot of questions which was a lot easier to deal with. This last Thursday (the 16th) I went to Mabel’s funeral. I wore a pink dress (everyone was in bright pinks and purples as requested by Mabel’s family). It was one of the saddest things I have ever experienced.

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I’m telling you all of this for a couple reasons. One reason is that talking about this I hope will be a little therapeutic for me. I also wanted everyone to understand why my posting has been so inconsistent these last few weeks (also why it may continue to be inconsistent when my nan passes). But also I wanted to share how I am coping as a Wiccan (or if I’m not already doing these things they are things I want to start doing to cope).

What is helping me cope with Nan is first and foremost I know that her passing is going to bring her peace. But also I know that her soul will reincarnate and I will meet it again whether in this life or the next. I’m really trying to focus on the fact that she lived such a great and beautiful life and not on the fact that she’ll be gone.

What is helping me the most when it comes to coping about Mabel is also related to reincarnation but it is a bit different. If you’ve read my post about the signs you are an earth angel you will know that many of these people die as a child. When I think about Mabel, and the beautiful energy her soul had, I confidently feel she had the soul of an angel. Without a doubt. So despite the fact that I don’t totally understand how she died, I can understand why she died and that to me brings great peace.

However other than thinking about these things I have not done much to cope but have just not been thinking about it and it’s probably not the most healthy method of healing. Things that I want to start incorporating into my coping process that you can try too is reiki (be it self reiki or receiving reiki from someone else). I also want to pray more. As I’ve mentioned in my post about my relationship with praying , I tend to stray away from it because it reminds me of Christianity. I think grieving may be a great way for me to change that relationship with prayer because at the end of the day you can pray to whoever or whatever you want, not just the Christian god. So I’d like to reach out to Gaia and Pan more for strength and you can do the same with whoever you matron or patron is. I think meditating and grounding myself will also help me stabilize my emotions. And the last thing I want to suggest for myself and for you is divination. Do spreads to help sort through your emotions. Do spreads for how to cope. Do spreads to talk to those that have passed on if you think that will give you closure. Do a spread to see how your future will be after you’ve moved forward from this hard time.

I hope that this post gives you some ideas on how to cope with what you’re struggling with and also lets you know that even if it feels like you’re all alone and no one understands that there are people who get it (yikes that was cheesy but bear with me). Let me know down below how you use your Wiccan/Pagan faith to get you through times of grief along with any other thoughts or questions you have. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be!

 

Starseed Alien Race: Arcturus

Hi everyone! For those of you reading the day I posted this, happy Beltane. Today I want to continue our conversation about the various Alien races your soul could be an incarnate from. Last week we talked about, where my soul originated from, Andromeda. Today I want to talk about the place my soul has incarnated to the second most. This place is Arcturus.

The star Arcturus (which is 36.7 lightyears away from us) is found with in the Bootes constellation. This star system is thought to be pretty old and due to this so are the Arcturus people. They are 5th dimensional beings on average but tend to exist between the 4th and 6th dimensions. Arcturians are said to be smaller than the average human and they don’t look as varied as us humans do. They all look quite familiar. Their society is not individualistic like ours is. They are a group consciousness. However when they are in their 6th dimensional form they are said to be tall white glowing figures with angled and intense eyes.

They are beings of high vibrations. Arcturians physically are less dense than humans are. Arcturians as a collective are very service based in their work and are masters at working with spiritual energy. When incarnated as humans you will find that they are really great at healing with energies. They very often have a scientific mind and are fascinated by how the universe works. Due to this curiosity the Arcturus people have devoted much of their time to studying it which is what led them to be experts in spiritual energies.

Signs you could be from Arcturus

Here are some of the traits that you may have if you are a starseed from Arcturus. Remember though that most starseeds are a hybrid of some sort and so it is possible that you don’t connect with every single trait listed. As I list these traits I will also tell you how I connect with some of them.

Sign #1 You feel you don’t belong to your family.

So this is a trait that I can relate to when I talk about my mom’s family. Other than my sister (who is also a starseed) I have never felt I really fit in with that side of my family. I remember always feeling out of place at my mom’s house. However I felt a lot more at home when with my dad. I feel like maybe this is because we share the fact that we both are incarnated from elsewhere.

Sign #2 You really enjoy math and science.

One thing that I don’t connect with when it comes to be Arcturian is loving math. I enjoyed it as a kid but once I hit highschool math was over my head. I don’t have the same critical mind that most Arcturians have. I do however really enjoy sciences like chemistry and biology so perhaps that makes up for it.

Sign #3 You’re attracted to Metaphysics and the Paranormal

I have been super interested in the paranormal since I was in elementary school and have had a few experiences myself. As for metaphysics I really enjoy witchcraft, divination, reiki, all that jazz.

Sign #4 You have a special interest in astronomy, aliens, ancient civilizations and night sky

I have always been fascinated by the night sky. I have had many a conversation with my father and even friends just staring up at the sky and talking about what could be out there and how beautiful it all is.

Sign #5 You experience synesthesia

I don’t exactly know how to explain what this is so I will give an example instead. So it is when something that normally uses one sense takes multiple senses for a person. So if someone feels a fur coat they may also hear a bear even though there is no bear present. Or they might taste bacon and see a pig. This is something I do not experience.

Sign #6 You are known for being highly empathetic

This rings true for me as I believe I am an empath

Sign #7 You have wanderlust

Much like the Andromeda part of me there is the love to travel. The difference between the Arcturians and the Andromedans when it comes to their feels on travel is that Arcturians enjoy it and Andromedans need it. I very much connect with the idea of enjoying it rather than needing it.

Sign #8 Sensitive sense

So this kind of connects with the synesthesia issue. However this is more about just feeling your senses strongly rather than feeling multiple senses once. So maybe you have a strong sense of hearing, seeing, smelling etc. You may also find that your skin is sensitive. Especially when growing up I was allergic to certain jewelery. I also a remember when I was in chem a very highly diluted base got spilled on my arm by accident and I got a bad itchy rash that normally wouldn’t have shown up for other people. My teacher made me wear gloves during labs there on out.

Sign #9 You tend to have low blood pressure and low body temperature.

I can’t really vouch for my blood pressure as I really have no idea however I can say I am always so cold. Even as I am writing this for you in my nice cozy home, my hands and feet are freezing.

Sign #10 You enjoy having deep conversation

One thing I can say that I miss about living at home is having deep conversations with my dad. I love my partner to death but he just isn’t a very deep thinker. He’s extremely smart but he gets no pleasure talking about what ifs or what the meaning of anything is. Having those kind of conversations with my dad is always something I enjoy doing.

That is all I have for today. Do you think you are from Arcturus? Let me know in the comments along with any other thoughts or questions you have. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. Until next time, Blessed Be!

 

 

Weekly Tarot Series: Starseed Identity Spread

So for the last week and a half I have been doing a lot of research in Alien races. As you may know, if you follow my posts/videos, is that I am a starseed. As someone who is a starseed my soul originates from a different planet. So I have been trying to find out the planet/system my soul comes from. Something I found while doing my research was this tarot spread. So I thought some of you who are also starseeds mat benefit from this. Also, something I thought seemed important to me as I was doing this reading was that 6/10 cards were associated the with the element air.

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Here is the spread I used

1) What is the primary elemental/spiritual or physical attribute of the world I originated from?

2) What are their core beliefs?

3) What are their goals as a world in regards to the universal mission and state of being?

4)What is unique about my world?

5) Why did I decide to incarnate on earth?

6) What do i seek to achieve in this incarnation?

7) What lesson am I learning in this life that carried on from my last life?

8) What behaviors should I avoid in this life that could hinder my goal?

9) What behaviors should I adapt to aid my development in this life?

10) What message does my star family have for me today?

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The cards I pulled

Card 1: primary elemental/spiritual or physical attribute of the world. (Two of swords reversed)

Essentially it seems like there were to races having a war and my race were the ones mediating. There didn’t seem to be a true right side and wrong side and the whole thing was more grey than black or white.

Card 2: what are their beliefs (the lovers)

They believe in partnership, unity, duality, harmony, trust, and the freedom of choice.

Card 3: what are their goals as a world in regard to the universal mission and state of being (four of wands reversed)

Their goals are to bring harmony and to help those races who hold tension towards one another.

Card 4: what is unique about my world? (Five of swords)

They engage in a lot of conflicts, thought they won or made the right choice but it seems like they possibly didn’t. They seem to be more isolated and are overly ambitious.

Card 5: Why did I incarnate on earth? (Ten of pentacles reversed)

I saw earth’s lack of stability and resources and wanted to help.

Card 6: what do I seek to achieve this incarnation? (Queen of cups)

To connect with others on an emotional level. To teach and support others using intuition.

Card 7: what lesson am I learning in this life that carried on from my last life? (7 of swords)

Sometimes we have to deal with consequences. Being deceptive when you’ve done something wrong isn’t the best idea and it’s better to come clean.

Card 8: what behaviours should I avoid in this life that could hinder my goal? (Eight of pentacles)

Lack of passion, motivation, and being uninspired

Card 9: what behaviours should I adapt to aid my development in this life? (Ten of swords)

Learn to use my fear and anxiety to motivate me. When I’m stuck in a poor me mentality to remember the end means a new beginning.

Card 10: what message does my star family have for me today (King of swords reversed)

Remember to always stay humble when it comes to your intellect. Do not succumb to selfish desire.

So from what I can tell from this reading is that I am connected to the Orion system. Something else that I have done is I got my birth chart read by someone who is able to interpret that and tell where people’s souls are originated from. So I did this (it only cost like $2 and I’ll leave the link here) and she told me that my soul has been around on 3 planets (other than earth) however the one I originate from is Andromeda. This to me suggests that although I originated there I didn’t necessarily stay there long or at least it didn’t have a long lasting impact on me. I also feel that I am connected to the Feline race. Something she did tell me is that I am a crystal child which I previously knew about and was glad she confirmed it for me. She offers a service to tell you all the planets you’ve been and much much more for around $30 and it is something I plan to do in the near future.

That’s all for today’s video! I hope you enjoyed. If you do this spread and/or decide to get your birth chart read I’d love to hear about your results! Make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be!

Starseed Alien Races: Andromedan

Hi everyone! Thanks for checking out my blog. We are going to be starting a new series here on the blog which has been inspired by my new interest in finding my soul origin and the various planets my soul has existed on. We are going to start this series off by discussing the very first place my soul existed (other then within the universal energy source) which is Andromeda. In this series we will talk about what makes each race different from each other and the various signs that your soul may be from that planet/system.

Firstly, when it comes to neighbouring galaxies these guys are them for us. The Andromeda galaxy is 2.5 million light years away from us here on earth. When it comes to galaxies that is pretty close. They also exist between the 3 and 12 dimensions. It is thought that there are approximately 200 million starseeds on earth and only one million of them or less are Andromedan. From what I’ve gathered so far they seem to have a lifespan of thousands of years.

When it comes to their appearance it varies just like it does here on earth. Some resemble humans, some have elongated cone heads, some are blue skinned humanoids, and some are a tall winged humanoids. The majority seem to be those of the blue skinned humanoids. They tend to be approximately 6.5 to 7.5 feet tall. As they age their blue skin tends to become lighter and whiter. You will also find them most often in the 5th dimensions.

They are thought to be capable of space travel, dimensional travel, and time travel. They are 6000 years ahead of us when it comes to technology and 40 000 years ahead of us spiritually. They are said to be direct descendants of the Lyrans. They create technology solely for education and knowledge. It is not used recreationally like it is here on earth. Their technology can also be used for defense as well as they do not have a military. They rely on scientists.

Signs you’re a starseed from Andromeda

I will now talk about the signs you may be one. I am not the best example of one as I find I connect more with a planet I was on at another time however if there are any examples I can link back to myself I will do so.

Sign #1 They love their freedom

This can manifest itself in many ways. You may find that you don’t like being tied down in a relationship or that you don’t like a routine.

For me I have a hard time with feeling this freedom in my work life. I don’t like being under authority or having people telling me how to do things. I look forward to the day that I can run my own business.

Sign #2 They love to travel

This one ties into loving freedom as well. Many Andromedan’s will feel an extreme wanderlust and travel will be something very important to their lifestyle.

However, for me, I do enjoy travel and travelling is something I want to do but it isn’t a necessity for me. It is just something that I think would be fun to do.

Sign #3 Freestyle living

It is very common for Andromedans to not enjoy committed monogamous relationships. Don’t be surprised if they are forever bachelors or perhaps in a polyamorous/open relationship. They are also just not a fan of having commitments or obligations in general. Due to this you may find they are often late to things.

This is not something I can relate to. My partner and I have a slightly more open relationship compared to the average couple however even if it weren’t the case I would still be content with our commitment and I am hardly ever late. Maybe these are things my life on other planets have influenced.

Sign #4 They are a great judge of character

They are nearly impossible to manipulate. They are very drama free and keep their emotions firmly protected. They are also very hard to be made feel guilty.

This is also another trait that does not ring true to me at least not so when I was a child. As a kid I was very easily manipulated and was on a regular bases (although I don’t think intentionally necessarily) and was in a constant state of guilt (often for things I shouldn’t have felt guilty for).

Sign #5 You ask the big questions

Andromedan starseeds are social evolutionists due to the fact that simply don’t understand how life here on earth works. Due to this they are always asking the big questions. Why do humans have to pay to live on their planet? Why do humans lack privacy? Why are they not invested in making education accessible to everyone?

This is one of the traits that I do resonate with. One of the biggest questions Andromedan starseeds have is why it costs money for humans to live on earth and that is a question that I think about on a regular basis. Earth economy and politics as a whole have always dumbfounded me.

Sign #6 You are artists, teachers, freelancers, and spiritualists

These are the most common career paths of an Andromedan starseed (along with working in a firm that may empower people). These beings are on earth to teach humanity what it feels like to be free.

For me I am a teacher. I am preschool teacher specifically. I hope to someday be able to teach in my own home where I am not governed by the rules of a boss.

Sign #7 You dream of living off the grid

You are probably the kind of person who wishes to live off in the middle of nowhere, collecting your own rainwater, and being totally dependent on yourself. So you may have a garden or a farm so you can provide for yourself. You try to live your life (or at least wish you could) as removed from the government as possible.

For me I am definitely interested in rural life (not totally off the grid however) and I do dream to have a garden and farm sufficient enough to take care of me and my future family.

Sign #8 You are an introvert

Andromdans tend to be introverted. They are thought to be quiet beings and like to stay out of the centre of attention.

This is another trait I align with. I am very introverted and much prefer to stay at home doing my own thing than go out and party or anything like that.

That is all for today’s post though. I hope you enjoyed and learned something new. Are you an Andromedan starseed or at least think you are? Let me know in the comments along with any other thoughts or questions you have. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter to get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be!

Weekly Tarot Spread: Exploring Past Lives

In the last year or so I’ve been really interested in my past lives when I learned a little about them when I was getting some soul healing done with my Shaman. Ever since I have wanted to do hypnosis to find out about my past lives but alas that opportunity hasn’t made itself available yet. So in the meantime I thought this might be a fun spread to try out.

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The spread I did

I think this reading is quite interesting. I previously knew about one past life where I died giving birth. And as you will find out this seems to be another past life where I don’t make it to be of the age to be a mother. Maybe this lack of experience in my past lives fuel my extreme desire to be a mother in this life.

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Cards I pulled

Card to describe me in my past life: Queen of Swords reversed.

This card normally talks about having the mentality of leadership. Having developed skills and wisdom through years of experience. There is mention of maturity, being a capable woman, an authority figure who is nurturing and understanding. She represents a mother figure. This card is in reverse though and therefore seems to talk of a Maiden who is dependent on others and lacks life experience. She isn’t mentally matured yet.

My purpose during that lifetime: Eight of Pentacles reversed

This card is about having worldly power and influence, being a leader and having authority. It talks of organizational and managerial skills, honour, respect, equality, awards, pubic recognition, power, and abundance in all areas of life. Because I pulled this card in reverse I think it means I was suppose to become a leader of worldly influence but it never ended up happening.

A lesson I did not complete in that lifetime: The Fool

So firstly as we know this is a Major Arcana card and therefore is important for me to know. This card says I never learned to trust blindly and to take big risks. In order for my purpose to have been fulfilled I needed to make the jump but I never did.

How is that life relevant to my current life: Page of Swords

This card says it is relevant because I need to prepare myself in this life to succeed in what I didn’t in my previous life. I have to be willing to do whatever it takes: start at the bottom of the ladder and take risks to make it to the top.

I hope you found this reading interesting! If you see anything you think I missed or have any thoughts/questions feel free to leave it in the comments. Also, make sure to subscribe so you get notifications when I post. Until next time, Merry Meet and Blessed Be!