Grieving as a Wiccan

Lately I’ve been grieving a lot. This last month or two has been pretty hard. So today I want to talk to you about that. I’ve wanted to talk about it for a while but I wasn’t sure how to format it. So I’m just deciding to write. It may be super long or super short but I think writing this will get it off my chest. My writing style may be a bit different than it usually is, it may not be… I dunno. Regardless I hope you don’t mind.

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The Thursday before the Easter weekend I was contacted by my family, while at work, that my great grandmother wasn’t doing very well. She’s hasn’t been super healthy for a couple years now but nothing crazy. However this time was different. My mom usually tells me that it isn’t anything to worry about yet, but this time she said I might want to come home and see her. So there I was in front of my preschoolers that I teach and I just cried. I told them what was wrong and let me tell you, 4 year olds are so compassionate and loving. They loved me and snuggled me all day long. It was so beautiful. I went to see her that weekend. I live about 3 hours away from my family. My partner and little sister went in with me to see her. She had a hard time talking cause her breathing was very laboured but we had a great visit. That’s the last time I will see my great grandmother. She’s still alive though. When I went to see her she was at her home. Now she is in a hospital and has been for a couple weeks now. My mom says she isn’t the same nan we know and love and that she wouldn’t want me to see her this way. She’s in a lot of pain and is just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up and check my phone to see if I have a message telling me she’s passed. I hope she does soon so she can be at peace. She really hates hospitals. So this is when my grieving started.

Back in March one of the little girls at my preschool (we’ll call her Mabel for privacy sake) went to Florida with her family for a trip. The second day in she got very sick and started having seizures. She had to be put in the hospital. She had what they call F.I.R.E.S. I am not super knowledgeable on what it is. All I know is it’s rare, it started as a common cold, and she had seizures, also 30% of those who get it die from it. However I didn’t know that at the time. It never occurred to me that she would die. Maybe that is naive but that’s how I felt. For two months I had very few updates other than a gofundme page and occasionally something would get written on her classroom attendance sheet about it. Then I came in to work last Friday (the 10th) and was told she didn’t make it. Mabel was 4 years old. I know a dead 4 year old. I was nervous for my kids to find out. I didn’t want them to be sad or scared they were going to die. But when you’re 4 years old 2 months is a long time and a lot of them didn’t remember Mabel very well. I was lucky in that sense so instead of being sad they just had a lot of questions which was a lot easier to deal with. This last Thursday (the 16th) I went to Mabel’s funeral. I wore a pink dress (everyone was in bright pinks and purples as requested by Mabel’s family). It was one of the saddest things I have ever experienced.

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I’m telling you all of this for a couple reasons. One reason is that talking about this I hope will be a little therapeutic for me. I also wanted everyone to understand why my posting has been so inconsistent these last few weeks (also why it may continue to be inconsistent when my nan passes). But also I wanted to share how I am coping as a Wiccan (or if I’m not already doing these things they are things I want to start doing to cope).

What is helping me cope with Nan is first and foremost I know that her passing is going to bring her peace. But also I know that her soul will reincarnate and I will meet it again whether in this life or the next. I’m really trying to focus on the fact that she lived such a great and beautiful life and not on the fact that she’ll be gone.

What is helping me the most when it comes to coping about Mabel is also related to reincarnation but it is a bit different. If you’ve read my post about the signs you are an earth angel you will know that many of these people die as a child. When I think about Mabel, and the beautiful energy her soul had, I confidently feel she had the soul of an angel. Without a doubt. So despite the fact that I don’t totally understand how she died, I can understand why she died and that to me brings great peace.

However other than thinking about these things I have not done much to cope but have just not been thinking about it and it’s probably not the most healthy method of healing. Things that I want to start incorporating into my coping process that you can try too is reiki (be it self reiki or receiving reiki from someone else). I also want to pray more. As I’ve mentioned in my post about my relationship with praying , I tend to stray away from it because it reminds me of Christianity. I think grieving may be a great way for me to change that relationship with prayer because at the end of the day you can pray to whoever or whatever you want, not just the Christian god. So I’d like to reach out to Gaia and Pan more for strength and you can do the same with whoever you matron or patron is. I think meditating and grounding myself will also help me stabilize my emotions. And the last thing I want to suggest for myself and for you is divination. Do spreads to help sort through your emotions. Do spreads for how to cope. Do spreads to talk to those that have passed on if you think that will give you closure. Do a spread to see how your future will be after you’ve moved forward from this hard time.

I hope that this post gives you some ideas on how to cope with what you’re struggling with and also lets you know that even if it feels like you’re all alone and no one understands that there are people who get it (yikes that was cheesy but bear with me). Let me know down below how you use your Wiccan/Pagan faith to get you through times of grief along with any other thoughts or questions you have. Make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be!

 

Weekly Tarot Series: Starseed Identity Spread

So for the last week and a half I have been doing a lot of research in Alien races. As you may know, if you follow my posts/videos, is that I am a starseed. As someone who is a starseed my soul originates from a different planet. So I have been trying to find out the planet/system my soul comes from. Something I found while doing my research was this tarot spread. So I thought some of you who are also starseeds mat benefit from this. Also, something I thought seemed important to me as I was doing this reading was that 6/10 cards were associated the with the element air.

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Here is the spread I used

1) What is the primary elemental/spiritual or physical attribute of the world I originated from?

2) What are their core beliefs?

3) What are their goals as a world in regards to the universal mission and state of being?

4)What is unique about my world?

5) Why did I decide to incarnate on earth?

6) What do i seek to achieve in this incarnation?

7) What lesson am I learning in this life that carried on from my last life?

8) What behaviors should I avoid in this life that could hinder my goal?

9) What behaviors should I adapt to aid my development in this life?

10) What message does my star family have for me today?

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The cards I pulled

Card 1: primary elemental/spiritual or physical attribute of the world. (Two of swords reversed)

Essentially it seems like there were to races having a war and my race were the ones mediating. There didn’t seem to be a true right side and wrong side and the whole thing was more grey than black or white.

Card 2: what are their beliefs (the lovers)

They believe in partnership, unity, duality, harmony, trust, and the freedom of choice.

Card 3: what are their goals as a world in regard to the universal mission and state of being (four of wands reversed)

Their goals are to bring harmony and to help those races who hold tension towards one another.

Card 4: what is unique about my world? (Five of swords)

They engage in a lot of conflicts, thought they won or made the right choice but it seems like they possibly didn’t. They seem to be more isolated and are overly ambitious.

Card 5: Why did I incarnate on earth? (Ten of pentacles reversed)

I saw earth’s lack of stability and resources and wanted to help.

Card 6: what do I seek to achieve this incarnation? (Queen of cups)

To connect with others on an emotional level. To teach and support others using intuition.

Card 7: what lesson am I learning in this life that carried on from my last life? (7 of swords)

Sometimes we have to deal with consequences. Being deceptive when you’ve done something wrong isn’t the best idea and it’s better to come clean.

Card 8: what behaviours should I avoid in this life that could hinder my goal? (Eight of pentacles)

Lack of passion, motivation, and being uninspired

Card 9: what behaviours should I adapt to aid my development in this life? (Ten of swords)

Learn to use my fear and anxiety to motivate me. When I’m stuck in a poor me mentality to remember the end means a new beginning.

Card 10: what message does my star family have for me today (King of swords reversed)

Remember to always stay humble when it comes to your intellect. Do not succumb to selfish desire.

So from what I can tell from this reading is that I am connected to the Orion system. Something else that I have done is I got my birth chart read by someone who is able to interpret that and tell where people’s souls are originated from. So I did this (it only cost like $2 and I’ll leave the link here) and she told me that my soul has been around on 3 planets (other than earth) however the one I originate from is Andromeda. This to me suggests that although I originated there I didn’t necessarily stay there long or at least it didn’t have a long lasting impact on me. I also feel that I am connected to the Feline race. Something she did tell me is that I am a crystal child which I previously knew about and was glad she confirmed it for me. She offers a service to tell you all the planets you’ve been and much much more for around $30 and it is something I plan to do in the near future.

That’s all for today’s video! I hope you enjoyed. If you do this spread and/or decide to get your birth chart read I’d love to hear about your results! Make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. And until next time, Blessed Be!

Tarot Series~Minor Arcana: Nine of Cups

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When pulled upright this card is about self-satisfaction. It is about going through the rough patches the rest of the suit had to offer, such as, struggling to find your purpose, to find joy again, you have explored new opportunities, and left your comfort zone. Now you are celebrating this new stage in your life. This card is a super positive one to get in a reading. It is often referred to a the wish card as when you get this card it tells you that you are going to get what you desire. When you are doing a reading about work this card talks about a good chance that something really great is going to happen in your place of work. Whatever it is that you’ve really wanted to achieve at work it is now the time to really push for it. When talking about love this card is saying a romantic relationship you have will go to the next level. So maybe you have been casually dating someone for awhile. This card could be saying you are both going to be ready to commit soon. Or maybe you have been in a relationship with someone for a while now, maybe you will finally get engaged. If you are single this card is telling you that now is the time to start socializing as you may find someone perfect for you. For readings about finances it says that whatever your financial goals are, they seem to be coming to life now. 

When pulled in reverse this card is about how you need to really think about what you seriously want in life. You desire something more authentic. You’ve been travelling a pretty hard path and you feel like you’ve reached a point of fulfillment but you can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. To others you may come across as just smug and make it seem like you just want attention for what you have achieved. However you honestly still feel dissatisfied with yourself. You never seem to have an end to your desires. You always want more to the point that seems much like a black hole. You need to reflect on this and try and figure out where this issue stems from so you can do something about it. This card talks about how you need to stop placing all your value on all your blessings and rather start valuing the quality of your life. 

So this card talks about how now is the time you will achieve your dreams so I thought this tarot spread would be helpful. First I would take the nine of cups out of the deck and meditate on it while thinking about your dreams for life. Then shuffle and pull the cards using your preferred method.

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Thank you for checking out today’s post! I hope you enjoyed. What has the nine of cups been telling your lately? Let me know in the comments below along with any other thoughts or questions you may have. Also, make sure you follow me here and on twitter so you get notifications when I post and when I upload videos to youtube. Until next time, Blessed Be!

Tarot Series~Minor Arcana: Eight of Cups

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When pulled upright this card is about a time of change. In order for this change to occur there is something you need to walk away from. We all need to transform ourselves throughout our lives now and again. This is especially true when you’re tired of living your everyday life. Now is the time to go on a journey that will bring you to a better understanding on life in general. This card shows that you aren’t happy with the way your life is right now and you need to get in touch with your higher purpose. You may have been trying a bunch of things without committing yourself to try and see what it is you want from life but it is becoming exhausting. It seems like you need to step out of your comfort zone and get away from what is familiar. This card typically shows that one is tired of the material world and is getting reading to undergo a spiritual journey.

When pulled in reverse this card is about being really confused because you are not sure what direction you should be going in life. This confusion is usually caused because you are not sure what path is best for you. This can often lead to people moving aimlessly through life with no real goals. They just go with wherever their life takes them. It is also possible that you are aware of all this and that you need to pick your path a go with it. You likely haven’t been happy for a little while now but in order to achieve the happiness you want you need to go down a new path. Leaving everything you know behind to pursue something new can be really scary as you are not only experiencing change but you are also leaving the comfort you’ve grown accustom to. This is all however necessary to get where you need to go. This causes a lot of people to be stuck in this limbo of making an important decision. I think a good, common, example of this is when you’re unhappy in a relationship. Do you continue being with this person despite being unhappy because it is comfortable? Or do you break up to find happiness elsewhere but experience the extreme discomfort of starting over? It is important to have courage and to believe you deserve the happiness you crave. 

Here is a tarot spread to help you on your path to transformation. First I would take the eight of cups out of the deck and mediate on it while thinking about what isn’t making you happy anymore. Then put the card back in the deck and shuffle and pull using your preferred method.

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Thank you for checking out today’s post! I hope you enjoyed. What has the eight of cups been telling you? Let me know in the comments along with any other thoughts or questions you may have. I am also on the hunt for questions for a q&a. You can leave any questions you have on any of my posts, videos, or you can leave them on my twitter. Don’t forget to subscribe! And until next time, Blessed Be!

Happiness Candle Spell

Materials:

  1. Candle (yellow is happy to me so that is the colour I picked)
  2. oil/liquid to anoint candle (I used lemon juice and vanilla extract)
  3. Herbs for happiness (I used coffee, cinnamon, ginger, salt, catnip, cumin, and bay leaf)
  4. Something to carve with (I used a tack)

Instructions:

  1. Start by cleansing the candle and the carving item with sage.
  2. While saging ask your deities (or whatever power you believe in) to cleanse both items and to bless your candle
  3. Carve the name of the person the spell is for, the word happiness, and a sigil that represent what you want to come of the spell into the candle. Below is the sigil I used.null
  4. Next anoint the candle. Take the liquid you are using and dip two fingers in it. Take you fingers and starting at the top by the wick brush your fingers down the candle and stop at the centre. Continue this until the whole top half of the candle is covered. Then so the same process but start at the base of the candle and make your way to the centre. Do this for the whole bottom half of the candle. While you are anointing the candle visualize what you want the results of your spell to look like and really focus on it.
  5. While your candle is wet roll your candle in the herbs or sprinkle the herbs onto your candle. While you are doing this focus visualizing the results you want to happen from the spell.
  6. After this say these words 3 times (or make your own) while touching or holding the candle:

When the candle burns the name engraved shall receive love, joy, happiness, and peace. Today, tomorrow, now and forever for anything less must now cease. Anger, sadness, worry, and pain are gone for he (or she/they/I) release. From now on and forever more happiness will increase.

      7. Finish be saying so mote it be, blessed be.

I made this spell myself, I hope you get use out of it and feel free to adjust it how you see fit. Thanks for reading! Merry Meet and Blessed Be!

Spirit Guides

Right before I start this post, I was wondering if anyone would be interested in a Q+A (about wicca, my relationship, family, me in general, whatever). If so please leave me some questions in the comments or message me them on twitter.

So, what are spirit guides? Well they are thought to be spirits that watch over you from your birth to your death. They can show themselves in different forms (humans, various animals, mythical creatures, etc) depending on what you’ll be most receptive to.

Spirit guides are thought to be souls that have completed their purpose and no longer need to reincarnate. They are there to watch over you, keep you safe, be your confidant, and to give you advise if you’re open to it. They overall, help guide your soul to completing it’s purpose. Some children are blessed to have found them early on and continue into adulthood to be in contact with them. I have a youtuber I follow (Hailey Reese) who has known her spirit guides a long time. I on the other hand have seen a glimpse of one (she’s an elderly woman, looks kinda stereotypically witchy) but other than that have not have the fortune of being in contact with them.

I do however feel they send me messages through animals. I go through different times of seeing the same animal a lot over a period of time. Most recently it was a butterfly. Some other ways they can send you messages is through signs (seeing something, not just animals, a lot in a period of time), gut feelings, intuitive insights (thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere), sending people into your life, arranging and nudging (spirit guides can cause things to happen in your life. For example, you lost your keys and you’re looking for them, then you get a very important phone call. If it wasn’t for you losing your keys you would have missed the phone call).

Some ways to more directly communicating with your spirit guides is to meditate. There are meditations on youtube designed for helping your find your spirit guides. Also pay attention to dreams as you may just find that the people in your dreams that you don’t recognize, or the animal that’s always in your dream, may just be your spirit guide. There is also divination. You can do tarot spreads to communicate with your spirit guides as well.

All in all keep an open mind and pay attention to your surroundings and you may just get some insight from those that watch over you from birth.

Thanks for reading! Make sure you follow me on here and on twitter (especially now that I’m travelling) for updates and notifications on when I post. Have you been in contact with your spirit guides? Have any thoughts or questions? Tell me about it in the comments. Merry Meet and Blessed Be!

 

Rosemary

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Rosemary is considered to be male and is ruled by the element of fire, leo, and the sun. It is an herb sacred to Aphrodite. You can put rosemary under your pillow to help remember dreams and to keep away nightmares.

It is commonly used in spells for fidelity, memory, and getting rid of jealousy. It is great to use in a spell for school to help you remember what you are learning. It is also good for spells to retain your youth. You can burn it to help with meditation or dreamwork to remember past lives.

In ritual it is great a ritual bath and making sacred water. When bathing in rosemary it will aid your memory and make you more memorable to others. It is also great for a handfasting. It can be worn to symbolize love and loyalty or be given as gifts for the same purpose. If the bride and groom plant rosemary on their day of their handfasting they watch the plant as it grows to divine the family’s fortune.

If you’re single and have a few people you’re dating, plant a rosemary plant for each person and the one that grows the fastest and strongest is the one for you. If you don’t have any choices make a poppet of yourself and stuff it with rosemary to attract your soulmate to you. You can do the same to attract healing energy.

Thanks for reading! Merry Meet and Blessed Be.